


La La Lost You

by pamgrijaldo



Category: NCT (Band), NCT127
Genre: M/M, dotae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:14:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29798655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pamgrijaldo/pseuds/pamgrijaldo
Summary: Taeyong hears his ex, Doyoung on the radio after ten months. Flashbacks begin.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	La La Lost You

Taeyong takes a deep breath as the red light turns green. He then he presses on the gas pedal and takes the next left turn. Meanwhile, the radio catches his attention.

_“And here we have, one of the most popular contestants from Choose Your Idol, Kim Doyoung! He won the popular vote and is currently one of the leading contestants. Hello Doyoung, how are you doing today?”_

Taeyong’s grasp on the wheel tightens. He wanted to pull over, but he couldn’t because he was in the middle of traffic.

_“Good to be here!”_

He lowers his eyes. He’s tempted to turn it off, not wanting to hear the voice he tried so hard to forget.

_“So, let’s get to it. We heard you’ve come a long way to Seoul. Why? What inspired you to leave your hometown and join the contest?”_

Taeyong wanted to turn off the radio then and there. He didn’t want to hear it anymore. He already knew what he would answer - that he wanted to chase his dreams.

_“I wanted to chase my dreams. I was… inspired by someone.”_

Taeyong knew if he didn’t pull over then, he would have crashed at this point. So he takes another turn, which was not in his plan, and parks in an empty grocery parking lot.

_“Is it a special someone?”_

_“Yeah, he’s very special. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here.”_

“Liar,” was all Taeyong could mutter.

After all, if he was special, why’d he easily let him go, then?

_“I’m actually sorry I had to leave him. I’m pretty sure I hurt him,”_

Alone in that car, Taeyong could almost see Doyoung and his sad smile. He remembered what Doyoung told him about not wanting to hurt him, but he did, anyway.

_“Ouch. Would you like to give him a message?”_

_“Um, I don’t know if he’s listening right now, but I just want him to know that I still think of him and I hope he’s doing well.”_

As his hand starts shaking, Taeyong takes a deep breath. He couldn’t lose composure, now. Not when it’s been over ten months and he was starting to let go.

_“Alright. Well, another question for you, why’d you decide-”_

The radio is immediately turned off. Taeyong no longer wanted to hear the rest - what he heard was more than enough.

If he was honest to himself, he really wanted to call Doyoung. He wanted to take the next flight out to Seoul, but he didn’t want to do that to himself. He didn’t want to do it to Doyoung either.

Taeyong always knew he held Doyoung back, and when Doyoung started expressing more that he wanted to be a singer, he knew it was time to let go. They tried to make it work. After being cut from the first audition program, Taeyong thought Doyoung would come home, but when he chose to stay, he knew it was about to fall apart.

He tried to be there for Doyoung, especially when he kept failing. He remembers Doyoung having to work two jobs just to pay his rent, and on weekends he’d go to auditions. He remembers all the times Doyoung fell asleep without saying goodnight, or when Doyoung had to cut their calls short. It became difficult.

Taeyong wanted to endure it all for Doyoung. He knew he could, but he saw Doyoung struggle. Nights when he barely slept, getting by paycheck to paycheck. He could no longer take away more of Doyoung’s time.

So he decided to break up with Doyoung. However, what hurt Taeyong the most was when Doyoung didn’t do anything to stop him. It’s like he was waiting for it to happen, almost like they were just pretending with each other the entire time just to try and keep the relationship alive.

He puts his head against the steering wheel, and tears just fall. The last time Taeyong cried was seven months ago after they broke up. When he was done with his one-week crying spree, Taeyong promised himself he would never cry or think about Doyoung again. This was a lie.

He kept thinking about Doyoung. Every time he’d pass by the street where Doyoung used to live or he’d turn on the bridge where they used to bike together, it sucked. He kept seeing him like a ghost. The town was tainted with Doyoung and he could never see it as anything else.

Taeyong sat there in that parking lot for what felt like forever. It was long enough for the day to turn into evening. When he saw that several cars had come and gone, and the grocery was starting to close down, he finally wondered what time it was.

When he took a look at his watch, he saw that it was only 8 PM. Taeyong rolled his eyes. It was only in their small city where a grocery store closes at 8 PM.

He starts his car and pulls out of the parking lot. He had to go home - his mom was probably wondering where he was, but he decided to take it a bit slow tonight. He just wanted to calm down before he arrived home, after all, his mother would probably be able to tell that something happened.

As he drove around the very small city, he took in the scenery. There were lights on and other establishments that were open, however, the majority of them were already close or at least about to close.

It wasn’t like any other city in South Korea. He knew that there was not much to see. It was so small that you probably knew or were connected to anybody by third-degree at the most. It was almost hauntingly small at this point.

As he drove past the little boulevard where he and Doyoung first went out on a date as a couple, he saw how small and distant it was.  
Everything in this city felt too small and it was the first time Taeyong realized that.

He remembered the first day Doyoung arrived in Seoul and they had a video call - he showed Taeyong his apartment. It was very small, but the view was gorgeous. He was on the 22nd floor - you could never get that in their city. He remembered how happy Doyoung was telling him about his job and the food there. He remembered how Doyoung would complain about the electricity bills, but said it was worth it because of the view.

He then remembered Doyoung in their small town. For some reason, he could no longer picture Doyoung walking the streets or riding bikes on the path walks. He could no longer imagine everyone knowing Doyoung.

For the first time, Taeyong felt suffocated. He finally saw how small of a city it was.

For the first time, he finally realized how Doyoung never belonged here. He never was one to be trapped in a place like this. Doyoung had wings and no matter how much he loved Doyoung, he could never clip his wings.

As Taeyong made his way home, the image of Doyoung started to disappear from the town. The swingsets started to look empty, there was no more image of him drinking his coffee at the outside tables. Then suddenly, the city fell silent. Silent, and empty, but for some reason, it felt right.

As Taeyong pulled up into the driveway of his house, he saw his mom on the front porch.

"Hey, honey. Where've you been?" His mom asks in a soft tone.

  
"Around," he says, pulling her into a hug.

They enter the house and Taeyong sees the entertainment news. On the screen a picture flashes and Taeyong sees Doyoung.

"I heard him on the radio today. He seems happier and freer," his mom tells him as he places a hand on his arm.

Taeyong looks at his mom and smiles. "Yeah. He is."

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Yes, this was inspired by NIKI's song "La La Lost You"
> 
> I hope you guys like it :)


End file.
